Finding Jesus Through Every Season
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." - Romans 12:12
In my life, I have realized that I go through different seasons. Some seasons I will be going and going and going and some seasons I will have nothing to do. Through each of these seasons I have noticed that I am always stressed out. Through either the chaos or the calm I never root myself in the one thing that never wavers, never leaves, and never moves, Jesus.
This past year, I feel like I am in a constant state of busy. I was working three jobs, then decided to focus on one job and now I am working two jobs. Everything seemed to be going my way. I found joy in chaos because I was too busy to think of what was going wrong. Even though the surface and the outside of my life looked like I had everything going smoothly, stress and loss of control were creeping through the cracks.
I have a habit of making myself busy to distract that I am just not trusting or leaning on the Lord. My biggest weakness is that I never ask myself, "how is my relationship with the Lord doing?". Jesus is funny that way, because sure enough, before I could even ask the question, my "distractions" were not working as distractions anymore.
Sometimes it's hard to find the good in every season of life. Whether that be the chaotic or the still seasons. In the last year, I have lived in a constant busy season of life and The Lord is teaching me to find Him within this season. I took all those distractions and put them to my sole focus that I couldn’t see anything else. I did such a good job with distracting myself that I had no earthly idea what to do when all those distractions stopped working. I questioned everything and truly questioned if I was happy with my life in the way it was going. All the things I was afraid to face and to feel, I felt it like a wave taking out my feet from under me and I am trying to catch a break for air.
That’s the funny thing about distractions. They are meant to be there only temporary. You’d think that I would catch on by now that distractions should not be what I am rooted in because when that temporary fix disappears I am left...trying to catch a break for air. My whole life I let other people write my story for me because I was too fearful to let Jesus lead me. How do you be bold enough to take those leaps and let God be in control when you are not spending time with Jesus.
I know the title of this is finding Jesus in the seasons, but I am still trying to figure out what that looks like for me. This season that Jesus has brought me into is the season of finding Him. How to focus solely on Jesus and not my distractions. This is the season where I learn to depend on the Lord and to rediscover my joy, my happiness, and my light.
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